When I was young, I had a computer that displayed two colors, puke green and black, and I was happy with it.  I could type papers and play a second-rate version of Jeopardy.  It was all that I really needed.  Years later, I have a laptop that displays countless colors that I can bring with me wherever I feel like I need a computer.  Soon, as early as Spring 2008, I will be able to have a computer where I least need it:  my breakfast table.

Months ago, Microsoft announced that it will "soon" be unveiling its newest monster, the Microsoft Surface.  I only write about this creation now because it seems likely that the $10000-something monstrosity is arriving in our stores within a couple of months, as many websites slate the release date as "Spring 2008."  As early as 8 months ago, people were already mocking the invention.  Despite the obvious sardonic nature of this video, it raises several valid points.  Does my life really require every flat surface in my house to be computerized?  Is it going to get to the point where it's difficult to buy a regular table?

From the demonstrations that have popped up from time to time, I cannot see as much innovation as I can novelty.  Essentially, it does all the same things that an iPhone or laptop can do, but with an added $8000 table attached to it.  I do enjoy how it looks like one of those ancient Ms. Pac-Man cocktail table machines.  Those things were awesome.

Despite my ranting, I do see a value to it in commercial industries, which is their most intended place of use.  After all, a touch screen device that properly responded would be a Godsend in almost any consumer venue.  As an ex-waiter, however, I loathe the idea of having a gigantic iPod touch taking away from the personal approach for which many restaurateurs strive.  I also shudder to think of the appearance of this device at a bar.  I can already imagine myself on a Friday night, three beers pounded, flinging virtual bubbles all over the screen.  That's a mental image for which I do not care one bit.

Overall, the Microsoft Surface is taking us one step closer to the world of the Jetsons, and perhaps I am just getting old, but I cannot stand the thought of technology splattered onto every flat surface in my townhouse.