Wading through the commercials, the web sites, the speeches and the (gulp) Town Hall Meetings, you come across the same tried and (somehow) true visual buffoonery with almost all of today’s candidates. Below are 5 examples of why I drink:

1) The Sleeve-Roll

John Edwards perfected it with his classic faux denim shirt roll, but it’s been the embarrassing metaphor of the hard-workin’ servant of the people for years. Howard Dean rolled them so hard he still has marks.

Can I get a beer over here?

2) The Littlest Thumb

Bill Clinton started this weird little gesture and after 8 years of watching him do it, most politicians have gotten it down perfectly. I still don’t know what it’s a metaphor for, but it’s creepy and I wish they’d just stop.

Coupla shots here, please?

Littled Thumb
3) The Lip Bite

Again, it’s Bill Clinton trademark, but I’ve seen Edwards borrow it when he needed to look instantly sincere. Kucinich did it once, but bit down too hard and it bled. Hillary won’t do it, and don’t ask her to.

Another round here? Yeah, it’s just me, why?

Littled Thumb
4) Man of the people attire

Joe Lieberman in a leather jacket. Remember that one?

Can I get a case of Schlitz to go?
Littled Thumb

5) I’m a human, like you! Look at me!

When Hillary pretends to be a homemaker and bake something, when John Kerry awkwardly walks out of the brush with a shotgun wearing camo, when George Bush senior visits a Safeway and pretends to buy some batteries or something…These are the actions of a desperate politician on the ropes, and they are tough to endure with a straight face.

Hey one of you kids give me a lift?

Littled Thumb

Got one that makes you squirmy? Send it.

This post is part of ProBlogger’s most recent group writing project, with the theme of "top five". Be sure to check out other entries!


About the Author
Tom McCormick
Tom McCormick is the head of the Brick Factory's design department, overseeing all of the company's creative work. In that role, Tom consults with clients to design websites that are beautiful and functional. He only writes blog posts that have something to do with football, probably because he is a Redskins fan and needs some kind of catharsis after they lose every week.